Deleted Scenes: Situationships and the BC Bail (Malachi 2:10-16)

Are we, as humans, becoming less able or willing to make relational commitments? I’ve been thinking about that question after preaching on Malachi 2:10-16 this past Sunday. Is failure to commit a phenomenon that is increasing in our time, in our culture? If we think about the primary human relationship commitment, marriage, that seems to be the case. People are getting married later than ever in our culture. 50 years ago, the average age of people getting married was about 25 years old. It's now around 35 years old. Less people are getting married in general- Statistics Canada shows that new marriages per capital have reached historic lows in recent years (Statistics Canada). On the other hand, divorce rates have actually fallen since their peak around 1980 (roughly coinciding with “no-fault divorce” laws), though they’re still multiple times higher than a century ago.

This also had me thinking beyond romantic relationships to friendships in general. This is much harder to get solid data on, but there’s definitely a feeling out there that people are becoming “flakier” in their social commitments. Vancouver in particular has a bad reputation for this. To make plans with someone and then to cancel at the last minute even has a slang term: “the BC Bail”. I’ve also come across this apparently well-known phrase: “Whistler has the snow, but Vancouver has the flakes”. Roasted! Many of us have probably experienced this and maybe have done it to others: plans dropped at the last minute with a casual, guilt-free text.

Obviously, it would be unfair to paint every Millennial and Gen Z, or every Vancouverite, with the same brush. Of course there are many people from every place and every generation who are great at making and keeping commitments, and others who aren’t. However, it does seem to me that our culture, even locally, is not terribly strong in this area.

As Christians, we talk about being set apart. We believe that through the work of the Holy Spirit, God is making us holy. That means that if our lives are surrendered to Him, they are going to look different than the world around us. We read God repeatedly reminding us things along the lines of “be holy, because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16). I believe that, especially considering the direction of our culture, making and keeping commitments is a way we are called to be set apart. It is an opportunity for the church to look different and model a different way of being in the world.

What kinds of relational commitments have you made? Marriage isn’t the only one. If you were baptized in a way similar to how we do it at The Bridge, you made commitments to follow Jesus as Lord. If you are a parent and had your child dedicated, you made commitments to raise your children in a way that would lead them to know Jesus. If you are a member of The Bridge, you made a relational commitment to this church body, to contribute to the building up of this church and to live a life that reflects what we’re about. Maybe you’ve made commitments to friends, maybe you’ve promised to be there for someone. How are you doing in upholding these commitments? Are we being set apart?

Here’s my thought for parents especially: are we teaching our kids to make and keep solid relational commitments? If we are to see a change in the direction of our culture, it starts with us and it starts with our kids.

In a world of situationships, in a city known for the “BC Bail”, let us be holy as God is holy. Let’s take our cue from His faithfulness rather than the fickleness of our world. Let’s be known as people who are reliable and trustworthy, because that’s who our Lord is.